Look down in doubt or up in faith: A Poem

During worship at Church we sang a song with the line:

‘You’re never gonna let, never gonna let me down’

And I was struck by how easy it is to doubt this truth and how we have to actively remind ourself that it is true regardless of circumstance.

As I was mulling this over I wrote a reverse poem… when read from top to bottom it shows the negativity of doubt and when read from bottom to top it shows the truth of faith.

It’s called:

Look down in doubt, or up in faith

You will never let me down

I once heard said yet again

I remain broken

In your glory

I can no longer believe that

You hear me

When you are silent

To believe you love me

When I am against all these obstacles

Difficult and trying

It isn’t

The truth; that you are there

I am alone

How foolish to believe that

You love me.

Poem: Do you see what I see?

Do you see what I see?

A man staggers down the street
Tattered clothes that smell offensive, no shoes on his feet.
He passes unseen enemies given life through the alcohol running through his veins
And looks up with bloodshot eyes. Cursing the skies. His anger plain
to see.

Do you see what I see?

How have you judged this man?
Have you seen that he is equally a part of my plan?
What do you see when you look upon the broken, lost poor – the captive?
How do you respond to those mourning, hungry – to the addict?

Do you see oaks of righteousness spreading their branches, his potential?
Do you see a brokenhearted individual?
Do you see a child who lives in darkness unable to fathom
That he is loved, he matters, that as the father of the Prodigal Son, I wait for him to return to me with enthusiasm?

Or do you believe that he is beyond my love – forever at the other side of sin’s chasm?

I do not ask you in sarcasm. I ask you to be truthful
Are you reaching out to the unlovable?

Do you see what I see?

A mother loses patience with her small toddler child,
He runs about, undisciplined and wild.
She lives without a partner to share the joy and the burden,
A one-night stand, forever changed her plans. Struggle now her portion.

The child grows up without father or family,
Both cast out when they learned of his reality
He has no one but his mother, there is no other. But she lives in delicate fragility.

Do you see what I see?

Do you look upon this boy and label him unruly?
Secretly glad that you get to leave and your day is not disturbed unduly?
What do you see when you look upon the widow, the orphans, those in distress?
How do you respond – is it a good witness

Of my love?

Do you see the broken as pieces that fit perfectly as the ruins are re-erected?

The building blocks of a community that loves because in the fires of loneliness they have been perfected?
Do you see a woman who gave up everything for her child?
Do you see a reflection of the sacrifice that was made so that you, with me,  could be reconciled?
Or do you see a wasted life, put blame on her for her choice?
Using your words to berate and ignore, not to give her a voice?
Is she a  project that will ask too much of your energy and time,
for you to be her spine
so that she can once again stand tall.
Do you lose commitment when the payoff is not instant and so choose instead to stonewall?

Do you see what I see?

A father holds his child close, surrounded by dark waves –  there is no lifejacket for them
He is surrounded by people there because he paid them with money he does not own, and entered into a den
Of lions; 
of compliance
and shady interactions where life has little value.
He knows he is putting his daughter’s life at risk, but what else can he do?
He dreams of a better life, where his child’s plate won’t be empty
Where he can find work, even if it is illegally. A future to be lived in the shadows, secretly.

Do you see what I see?

A shepherd stranger who will look after My flock?
A daughter who knows the depth of her father’s love?
A daughter, who through adversity, knows the truth of being set free.
Who, after staring death in the face,  will enjoy my creation with an unadulterated glee 

Their journey over the ocean in a small boat, not fit for purpose
Is a picture of strength overcoming weakness; 
of a father so desperate to find a way to save
His child, 

He risked the grave and chose to be exiled.

Do you see what I see?

Or do you see a man who puts his need of money before his daughter?
Who would willing risk her life by taking her out beyond the breakwater?
Someone who sees a better life and is filled with jealousy,
A man who wants more things, more money, 
and lives selfishly?
Do you see him as a threat because he might look a certain way?
Do you see him as another freeloader that is demanding you pay
For him.
Without acknowledging that truthfully

I want you to welcome this man in unity
To dive in. And swim. 

With him.

For when you do this for the least of my people, you do it for me
When you loose the chains of injustice and set the oppressed free
For I the Lord love justice and hate robbery and wrongdoing
It is love and justice you should be pursuing.
You take the treasure I have entrusted to you and given
Invested and put to work, my love cannot be hidden
Oh good and faithful servant you are able to do much with my provision

For in me you have comfort to give for all who mourn,
A crown of beauty for their heads, to adorn
You have the oil of my joy with which to anoint
Claothed in praise you are free from despair and disappoint-ment
No need to come to your father by appointment
I am here always, the curtain was torn in two
Wherever you go, whatever you do. I go too. 

You need not worry how you will do these things, simply listen to me and I will be your guide
Always by your side, 
these forgotten people are the jewels with which I will adorn my Bride
I will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land, and strengthen your frame
You will be like a spring of righteous water that will never fail.
How your joy will overflow
When you see people released from chains
Excused of blame,
Set free from all shame

When you see the dead coming back to life
When you see families restored, reunited man and wife
When you see the broken, hopeless, those lost at sea
Walk in truth, a prisoner set free
Then, you will know the love I have for you

Then you will fully realise My truth

When you look at others without judgment but compassionately

When you see what I see.

Declare in All Circumstance: A Poem

Declare in all circumstance,
Speak to those around.
It is never happenstance,
That is how I am found.

Walking through the streets laden with the worries of the world,
I look up and my eyes meet with a soul more black than my own,
I inwardly sigh, I don’t have the time or the energy left in these weary bones.
But then I am reminded that, even in this maelstrom of difficulty, I am never alone.
I may look beaten, life may have reached into my joy,
But in despair I deepen
my faith, that no other can destroy.

The eyes I see before me have none of that hope.
They are restless without energy;
a climber without rope.
I see my troubles reflected in their hazel eyes,
But what they have clouding their vision, that I don’t, is the enemy’s lies.
Lacking defence at the hurt he wields so effortlessly,
Shooting barbed insults so generously.

How tragic it would be to live without God’s salvation.
How horrific to be unable to cling to His revelation.
To live life wishing to undo your own creation,
Unaware of your soul’s castration.

A torrent of realisation cascades over me – a new understanding,
I have access to the answer to this soul’s fruitless journey, one demanding
to be heard, to be spoken
Even in my own grief, I can help heal the broken.

Child, You do have the power: of My Truth, My Gospel
You are my modern day apostle,
If only you would use it and proclaim from the point you are currently,
Instead of waiting to be complete, for that happens only in Eternity.

Go out, be bold
Let My story be one that’s told
Offer the cure to bondage, the shield against the enemy,
And let my glory flow endlessly.

You will find that your own struggles will too be lifted,
When you share the freedom that you have been gifted.
Because you will be reminded whilst in the mire,
That your God is more, He is higher,
That no words against you can prosper,
For they come from the ultimate imposter.

Don’t let fear and anxiety stop you.

Let My Holy Spirit breakthrough.

Declare in all circumstance
Speak to those around
It is never happenstance
That is how I am found

Relationship Regrets

Lazy summer evenings in the sun last warm embrace
echoing the feeling of calm outside of the race.
Spirit moving effortless over mountains and valleys in perfect smoothness,
Moving from a lifetime of responsibility to receive my prize of whole newness.

I’m aware that my whole being is changed
No longer imprisoned by earthly chains
I’m free
To be me.
Completely.
I know in my essence just where I’m headed,
If it wasn’t for the way I’ve lived my life, I’d dread it!
But I am secure in my knowledge that I lived a good life;
Devoted to the church, Christ’s bride
And like the loving wife
of Ephesians 5
I have worked hard to ensure my submission, to toe the line.
I’ve made sure to know every word my fiance has uttered,
Made sure I followed it to the letter.
Because that’s what matters.

I’ve turned down dates and time spent with those who would not hear
the message, God’s gospel – though I said it loud and clear.
I stayed away from anyone who might pull me from The Path,
Ensured that a joke was Biblical before I laughed.
I turned down invitations to eat at the houses of unbelievers.
Kept myself away from their souls’ disease; didn’t catch their fever.
Or listen to their stories punctuated by anger and curses,
Because that can only lead one way, after the hearses.

I put all of my effort into making sure I grasped God’s rules.
So that when faced with lies and temptation, I would have the tools
to call out the demons and speak with Jesus’ name, authority.
I held onto this as a badge of honour, knowing I was in the minority.
I knew that following God would be difficult, so much to ensure I was doing:
not lying or cheating, but memorising scripture and pursuing
all that God had for me,
I knew that it was worth the fee.

And today I will see the reward for all of my toil
Will eat from God’s Bread of Life that will never spoil!
Drink from the cup of everlasting joy and happiness.
Secure in my Father’s arms, safe from the eternal abyss.

I make my way towards The Source of All Being.
Ready to bask in the feeling
of being in the presence of total perfection,
Wondrous satisfaction removed from life’s dereliction.
Oh the excitement! Of being face to face with my Saviour.
To be thanked and praised for my labour,
To lift up my voice in praises fervent,
And hear ‘Well done My Good and Faithful Servant’!

The moments here, everything I’ve worked for through my years,
The end to pain, suffering, death. No more tears.
I slowly look up into the face of my desire,
I’d catch my breath, if I still had the ability to respire.
‘What an honour, what a privilege! I will spend eternity trying to show you..’
But my praise is cut off with the lyrical darts
shot straight into my nonexistent heart.
As Jesus says:

Do I know you?

‘What?’ I stutter, ‘what do You mean? Look in Your book I’m there,
Became a Christian 23rd of January – I was sitting on the stairs.
Surely You remember Jesus; I professed my sins in Your Name,
I accepted your gift of salvation and let You take the blame,
I told you I would follow you all of my days,
I devoted an hour of each morning to giving You praise,
I memorised Your words and used them to show others their faulty thinking,
I told them of Peter and that it was his lack of faith that led to him sinking,
I told them of the way to get right with You; a step by step plan,
I pointed out their faults and when I saw their life was a sham,
I’ve lived my life following Your decrees, given my heart fully…’

Mid explanation He turns His back and says:

Depart from me

I panic, what does this mean?
I am reminded of Matthew 7 and the scene
spoken about when people face Jesus to find they missed the real truth,
And I am hit with a realisation so astute,
I cannot refute
it
I am the one who missed it.

I accepted the unconditional gift of grace and imposed conditions,
I spent my life in hiding believing there to be a need to earn my position,
Before God, I put my human traditions,
I put myself and my salvation above The Great Commission.
I selfishly hoarded the prize.
Used piety and legalism as my disguise,
Judged others from afar, and refused to share God’s message,
His truth flickering rarely, the last vestige
of what I had chosen to forget,
Believing my works and pride were my assets,
But all I really needed to do was accept and believe,
And follow the Holy Spirit as He would lead.
To not simply know His word, but put it into action,
To speak openly of God to all, and let Truth spread in a divine chain reaction;
To understand that Jesus truly did die for my sin,
But that this too is a gift to for all of my kin.
To memorize His word but not actually hear it and know it,
That’s the quickest way to blow it.
I found my security in myself alone.
Oh! If only I hadn’t been so arrogant, to have known
no action of mine could ever atone
for all of my mistakes; my rotten true nature,
Thinking I could control my destiny, not my Maker

All at once I see how foolish I’ve been,
How I’ve seen others as dirty, when I’m equally unclean.
Somewhere along the path, I was lost.
And now, my independence; the cause, the cost.
I forfeited the gift so freely given,
And now I am cast out of heaven.

Please don’t make the same mistake as I have my brothers.
Love God with all your heart and extend this to your neighbours,
Proclaim His Gospel loud, in all ways.
Take the paths The Spirit leads you down, until the end of your days.
Trust in Jesus for your salvation, but also let Him be your Lord.
Don’t try to be in control of everything, hand that over to God.
Hold no nger for another in your heart,
For it is there that you, from God, depart.
Invite the unlovely, the broken, the unstable,
To share meals with you – at your table.
Show them that there is nothing they can do to earn God’s grace,
That He loves them as they are, all faults embraced.
And please never make God a thing on your list, a job to do.
Because before you do anything in His Name, He wants a RELATIONSHIP with you.

Sinking in Brokenness, Rising in Beauty

This is my first ever attempt at REVERSE POETRY. This is an exciting twist on poetry that lets the reader read a poem tradtionally focusing on a specific meaning and then aks them to read the same poem from the bottom up to reveal a different, or more specifically, opposite, meaning to the first reading.

I was inspired to write this poem using the prompt ‘Beauty and Brokenness’ from a Christian Collective Magazine I have written for before- GG Zine (find my written piece on Childhood through the eyes of a mother here in the first issue) .

This poem is written, as the title suggests, to show what brokenness and lack of faith is when read down, sinking. And what it is to know your beauty before God, when read from the bottom up, rising.

I hope you like it.

I am unworthy, unclean, sinful

I can no longer believe that

I am the source of God’s delight

When the truth is

I am a failure

I can no longer believe that

God loves me in my brokenness

How can it be? To think that

God loves me as a sinner

How foolish it was to doubt that

I am broken beyond repair

How foolish it was to believe

I can be made righteous

It’s almost beyond imagining but

I am past hope

I cannot accept

That God looks at me and sees beauty

I intend to live my life in the light of this truth.

There is much work to do: A poem

Church – now is the time to dig in deep,
You are building the trenches for coming warfare,
Preparation is where you keep
My promises, My Word, your prayers.

The work will be hard, but made harder if you do not look ahead,
This is your call to see My vision.
To see the true gift of my Son’s bloodshed,
The gift of freedom, like a surgeon’s incision made with divine precision.

You are not of the World, your home is in Heaven,
Yet you live day to day in selfish pursuit,
You do not call on Me and allow me possession,
of your heart, your fears, your faith – however minute.

Did not My Son say you could move mountains with a mustard seed?
Did He not commission you to go out to all peoples?
Why then do you tarry and close your eyes to those in need?
Visible only as buildings and steeples?

My Church is not a building of bricks and mortar,
It’s made with My living stones.
Each person who I’ve called my son or daughter,
should be My living body, not a collection of dry bones.

You are made new with divine relationship,
Filled with My Spirit, you aren’t like those in damnation!
The world is not where you should find your citizenship,
it should, and is, found in your salvation.

Which means that you should live as a Lion, brave
and be seen by others, for you glow
in My glory – no longer afraid of a grave,
Choosing instead to use the ground to sow a glorious meadow

My Church, if living in Me, can not be quiet,
My voice, through them must be heard.
You should be out in the field spreading My love like a riot,
instead I see you embarrassed to even read, let alone utter, My Word.

My heart grieves for those of you who water down the Truth,
To fit in with those who have rejected Me.
When you do this, knowing you are lying when you have the proof
in all my son did for you, you choose to bind yourself when you are free

You will see that the world is beginning to change,
More so than at any other time in your history,
The familiar truths of existence now treated as strange,
All that was once unrefuted, now lies shrouded in mystery.

Living in the shadow of the virus,
Your eyes have been diverted easily.
Blinded by unfocused iris,
You’ve taken your lead from the world, not Me.

There are powers at work below in the unseen,
Realms and principalities are diverging,
To pull apart my church at the seams,
Their true intent is emerging.

And you sit around idly as it is happening!
Though I have warned you in many times past,
The sky, like the soul of humanity, is blackening,
Cast into the thick of it – the days are last.

I’ve given you the armour.
You already have the victory.
But I see My Church falling prey to the snake charmer,
Offering false hope and false liberty.

If my church is being duped
by masquerading truths,
The right pitch from peers
enough to scratch itchy ears,
Then the coming cloud will be harder to contain,
With less people willing to speak my name,
Less people saved, knowing with certainty
that they will be with me for eternity,
Church wake up! Now is the time to prepare,
Soon it won’t be as easy to share
My word, the truth, the way to salvation,
Holding back now leads to more condemnation.
Assured damnation!
I am willing to save all who come in My Son’s name.
To heal the blind, the mute, the lame,
To bring my children back under my wings,
To protect them, love them, wash them in living springs.
But they do not hear my voice for you do not speak,
How will they find me if they don’t know they even need to seek
me,
so they can meet me,
My arms are open wide.
But they are left empty because you hide,
to protect your pride,
to be what the world wants you to be,
When none of that will matter ultimately.

Oh children, children listen and take heed.
You are the ones I have commissioned to go to those in need.

When I met you in that moment
when you felt my presence and knew,
No longer were you my opponent
you were made right, clean, new.

You felt my love for you so very pure,
you found complete contentment,
You accepted Jesus as your Lord and Saviour,
Knew it was for you that He was sent.

Remember Truth as it filled you completely,
Remember that first love of My selfless son.
The love that each of you was given uniquely,
Hold onto it until the battle for lost souls is won.

For it is in my strength that I ask this of you, not your own,
I have equipped you for your mission,
You do not go out alone,
But as an army with love and truth as your ammunition.

It’s not going to be easy, I never said it would be.
You will give love and receive hate,
Made to be pariahs in your own family,
For standing in the light as my arbitrate.

There are those whose hearts are hardened,
They have chosen to live in the dark,
Believing they are not guilty, but pardoned
willingly taking on the enemy’s mark

These are not your concern
though they will forever be mine:
I offered them Jesus – a way to return.
But they declined,
No belief in the divine,
Desires and passions combined,
The world and lies aligned,
Their own death warrant they joyfully signed.

The ones I send you to are hidden in the masses,
They are those who are blinded by their situation,
Those who have been hurt, used; burnt matches
To be reignited with Holy Spirit confrontation.

The truth will hurt them, heal them, make them whole,
It will fill them with forgiveness,
Mending the fissures of their very soul,
Allowing them to witness

My love. On the Cross. Poured out for them
To see themselves through my eyes, restored,
A gem in My holy diadem –
complete in My presence, adored.

I have chosen you to be a part of their story
To bring them My life-giving illumination
To bring them from death to glory,
Eternal emancipation.

Church, that is My vision. Me and my children in communion,
Not for personal gratification, or materialistic gain.
But because it is the antidote to the confusion,
Cessation of tears, hatred and pain.

This should fill you with excitement
and determination to share with others
I am sending you on a joyous assignment:
to make strangers your sisters and brothers

So go. An army with divine bloodline,
Though, in worldly terms, you are few,
You are enough, You are Mine.
Come My Children, there is much work to do.

Before you open your presents: A Poem

Before you open your presents,
Take time to think about your year,
Consider the good times and bad,
The smiles, laughs and the tears.

Before you open your presents,
Take time to tell God your woes,
Pray for others who have wronged you
and supernatural love for those.

Before you open your presents,
Thank God for all you have,
Focus on His blessings
Ask Him to remind you of a heart glad.

Before you open your presents,
Remember the baby born in Bethlehem so many years ago,
Born so that we could rebuild our relationship
With God and Him know.

Before you open your presents,
Honour Him with worship,
Spend time with your Father in prayer
knowing you are someone who was purchased.

Before you open your presents,
Reflect on the baby grown to man,
Who died for your sins on a Cross
to fulfil God’s wonderful salvation plan.

Before you open your presents,
Acknowledge the true reason we celebrate,
Its not for the gifts, food or family, though all this is good,
It is for Jesus, the baby born as our ultimate advocate.

So before you open your presents on Christmas Day,
Remember it is His Presence in you everyday is where the true importance lays.

Take a stand: A Poem

During the last meeting of our Prayer and Fasting week this poem was given to me by God.

Whilst writing it I felt a real urgency in the need for the Church to stand up and be out on the streets sharing the Gospel, and a real sadness that there are those in Church who are ‘sleeping’; content to ‘do’ Church and not be Church. Those who have all but given up on people living in sin, believing that going to Church and praying for ten minutes a day is enough.

It’s a start but it isn’t enough.

That is what this poem says. It is God speaking to us and reminding us that we have the key to brokenness, addiction and despair, that we have Him and He is all we need to do His work to introduce others to Him.

Church, the world NEEDS God. Church, the world NEEDS Jesus. Church, the world NEEDS His Holy Spirit – The Spirit that dwells in you.

 

 

Light I gave you and light I give,
I declared that my son Jesus should die so you could live,
Each one of you has accepted this promise of eternal salvation,
Each one of you is now saved from eternal damnation.

How then can you sit there sleeping?
How can you pass by those who are weeping?
How can you be content to pray behind secure doors?
Why aren’t you out there with those society abhors?

That’s where Jesus was, during his time on earth,
He met with the outcasts, the despised, and covered himself with their dirt.
My church is a body of believers, a home for my spirit,
This truth was meant to inspire you to go anywhere, without limit.

Not for you to sit and pray silently without conviction!
But for you to fill areas of dereliction,
For you to proclaim salvation to all,
It is only when you go, shout out boldly that people can hear your call.

If you are willing then I will go before you,
Open up your hearts I implore you,
All power and strength and wisdom is mine to offer,
If you are want to change a story, don’t just moan – speak to the author!

Please don’t box me into a small time of daily prayer,
Speak with me often, I’m always there.
But take care to listen also, this is what makes true conversation,
There is no relationship if one party is forced into silent alienation.

And when you listen and I speak, go
When I ask of you something big or small know
That I ask only what you are able to do,
That in my strength you can do what can only be achieved by few.

Don’t allow the lethargy of the world overtake you,
Let My Holy Spirit come and break you.
To break your heart for what breaks mine,
Steel yourself, to do My work you will need to go to the front-line.

Church the time is near, the Devil is moving,
The time is ripe for a people’s reproving,
People need My truth and you hold it in your hands.
The time has come, My Children, to be brave; to take a stand.

Purchased: A Poem

Purchased.
Worth the price,
With every drop of His blood
you were purchased.
Made more – no longer worthless.

Redeemed.
Brought back from the dark.
With the death of a Saviour
you were redeemed.
Given a freedom beyond that of your dreams.

Righteous.
Able to enter His presence.
Made clean, forgiven of sin
you are righteous.
No longer dead to sin and lifeless.

Freed.
Of all that holds you down.
Of all the Enemy’s lies
you are freed.
Because He sacrificed himself for you to plead.

Embraced.
By the heavenly arms of the Father.
No longer facing it all alone
you are embraced.
Offered His unfathomable grace.

Justified.
There is nothing you can do
to deserve His Grace; it is a gift.
You are justified.
Brought by Jesus’ blood, to God’s side.

Adopted.
Into the family of God.
A family made of those undeserving
you are adopted.
Though all are corrupt, no longer corrupted.

So, My Children, don’t sit there feel less than,
You are a child of God!
I sent My Son to die for you,
You were worth every drop of His blood.

I see you as you really are,
as I made you to be,
Oh! If only you could see who you will be
when you live as I intended – free.

You are not a mistake,
Your existence isn’t pointless,
Because My Child I molded you,
You are not worthless.

You are not forgotten,
You were worth it.
Live your life in this truth.

Because you are purchased.